Help for porn and sex addiction starts with recognizing that it is a real, treatable addiction, not a failure of character. At Retorno, a kosher therapeutic community near Beit Shemesh, Israel, founded in 1998, people struggling with compulsive pornography use or sexual behavior are treated in the same residential program as other addictions. Treatment is in English, men and women are in separate programs, and privacy is taken seriously.
This page explains how to tell a struggle from an addiction, why it is so hard to talk about in religious communities, and what treatment at Retorno involves.
Is it a struggle or an addiction?
Many religious men and women feel deep guilt about pornography or sexual behavior, even when it happens rarely. Guilt alone does not mean addiction. What marks an addiction is loss of control and continuing despite harm. In 2019, the World Health Organization recognized compulsive sexual behavior disorder in its international classification of diseases (ICD-11).
Common signs include:
- Repeated promises to stop, followed by going back again
- Spending more and more time, often late at night or in secret
- Needing more extreme content over time
- Lying to a spouse, family or rabbi to hide it
- Harm to marriage, work, learning or finances
- Using it to escape stress, loneliness or painful feelings
If you are not sure, our confidential self-tests can help you take an honest look:
- Pornography and online sex addiction self-test
- Sex addiction self-test
- Sex, love and romance addiction self-test
You can also read about the difference between sex addiction and love addiction.
Why it is so hard to ask for help in a religious community
In a community that values kedushah and modesty, this is one of the hardest problems to admit. People fear for their reputation, their marriage, their children’s shidduchim. Many try for years to fight it alone, with more willpower, more learning and more resolutions, and feel worse each time they fall.
Addiction does not respond to willpower alone. It responds to treatment. Seeking help is not a betrayal of your values; it is a way back to living by them.
How Retorno treats porn and sex addiction
People with sexual and pornography addiction take part in Retorno’s residential program, alongside people recovering from other addictions. The underlying work is the same: understanding what drives the behavior, learning to cope without it, and rebuilding trust and daily structure.
- Individual and group therapy with psychologists, including CBT and DBT
- A treatment approach based on the 12 Steps
- Psychiatric assessment when needed
- A structured daily life in a therapeutic community, far from the devices, routines and triggers of home
- Experiential therapies such as art therapy, yoga and equine therapy
- Family guidance during and after treatment
Residential treatment usually lasts 3 to 6 months.
A setting that respects Jewish life
- Separate programs for men and women
- A kosher community with mehadrin food and chalav yisrael, three minyanim a day, Shabbat and holidays, and a rabbi on staff
- Any level of observance is welcome
- Distance and discretion: treatment in Israel, far from the home community
- Treatment in English, with an English-speaking team
Learn more about our kosher rehab and our program for English speakers.
For spouses and parents
Discovering a loved one’s addiction can be devastating, and spouses often carry the pain in silence. You did not cause this, and you do not have to face it alone. Our self-test for family members can help you see how it has affected you. If your son or daughter is refusing help, read our guide for parents.
Cost and getting here
Residential treatment at Retorno costs $10,000 per month. Retorno is private pay and does not bill insurance. For costs, travel and arrival from the US, see rehab in Israel for Americans.
Frequently asked questions
Is porn addiction a real addiction?
Yes. Compulsive sexual behavior disorder is recognized by the World Health Organization. What defines it is loss of control and continuing despite harm, not occasional lapses or guilt alone.
Does Retorno treat pornography and sex addiction?
Yes. People with pornography and sex addiction take part in Retorno’s residential program, alongside people recovering from other addictions, with individual and group therapy.
Are men and women treated separately?
Yes. Retorno runs separate programs for men and women.
Will my community find out?
Treatment in Israel offers distance from the home community, and Retorno treats every client’s privacy with care.
How long is treatment?
Residential treatment usually lasts 3 to 6 months.
Do I need to be religious?
No. The community is kosher and keeps Shabbat, and it welcomes people of any level of observance.
Take the first step, confidentially
If pornography or sexual behavior has taken control of your life or the life of someone you love, contact Retorno. Call us in the US at (646) 248-7297, message us on WhatsApp, or fill out the form on this page.
